I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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