last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
