Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You pole danced in your parka.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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