oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
