i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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