You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
