I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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