U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
