the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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