Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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