i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
