My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Randomize