no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
