We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
