Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
