New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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