Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
