would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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