Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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