Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
