i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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