just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize