he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
