He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
