I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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