Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
