How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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