Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
