Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
