oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
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I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
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Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize