with your own penis?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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