Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
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She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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