can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
