It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Soap is not a condiment
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
