drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
