We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
