everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
