i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
