not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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