I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
