I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
