So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize