shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
