I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
