Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
