Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Vodka?
Forever.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize