I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
