i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
