wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
