And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
