I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Im part way to drunk.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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