I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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