TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize