Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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