it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
