i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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