She said her name was "party"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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