the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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