last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
