we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I enjoy the company of your penis
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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