I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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