This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
