R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
