after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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