you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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