i don't like sucking hair
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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