My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
